Busy and exciting weekend

Today I will start out with the not so fun events that we had. On Thursday Trevor's football team lost again with a 41-12 score. Trevor did get a fumble recovery so that was a highlight. The team is so tired of losing that they are now starting to bicker with one another. Our quarterback got another concussion and will be out for the rest of the season. This time he got taken away on a stretcher and an ambulance I hope that he is ok. Well the good news is that we only have 3 more games and then it is on to preparing for next season. I have been asking Trevor to Wrestle though because I think that he would be good at it. I hope that he does.

Now on to the Varsity game. Trevor is so tired of dressing out and not being able to play. It is so boring to him. He likes the Pre game meals though and he says they are very good. This past Friday was our Homecoming game and we played Villa Park and lost 13-2. As the snack shack coordinator I was very busy. I got to the snack shack to see that we were out of propane for the BBQ's we ran out of Hamburgers by the middle of the first quarter and Don had to go and get more from the store. One parent didn't show up for his shift so I had to work a little bit until I had a young man come in and volunteer. During the set up I spilled boiling hot water on my hand so it was definitely a night to remember.

Saturday was a long day but ended up great. It started with Triston's soccer game in Laguna Niguel. We lost 4-0 and we have one boy on our team that likes to put other players down and yell at them when he doesn't think they are doing their job on the field. Today the parents had enough and told the coach to take care of it. So the coach gave the group a big talking to and gave them a homework assignment to look up the word respect and write the definition and then write 2 paragraphs about how to be respectful. Not bad, I think that it is important for the coach to take care of these issues and I think that he did a great job. After the game it was off to Irvine to see a Kyle participate in a Ju Jitzu Tournament. It was great to see him as it has been months and he did a great job. Here are some pictures:

Kyle ended up losing the match but really impressed us. After the match we were off to Tatum's football game. It was the Playoffs semi final and the boys were really excited and the girls wanted to do their best. The team ended up losing but the girls did great they had an announcer and when timeouts were called or end of quarters they would play music and the girls would go crazy. It was fun.

From there we went to my friend Jodi and Ken's house for dinner and game night. We had some Tri-tip and some awesome twice baked potatoes. We played two games that I have never played before and they were fun. The first game was Encore which is about music. We would have to come up with songs that had a certain words in it or songs with peoples names and then sing it. We played boys verses girls and of course the girls won but the boys didn't do so bad. I was hoping to get Don to sing at least once but he didn't. Maybe it was better that way for all of us :) After Encore we shooed the kids away and played a game called Spades. Boy that was fun and I totally thought I was getting it when I found out that I was playing my cards wrong and frustrating the hell out of Jodi. Sorry Jodi. We totally saw Jodi and Ken's competitive spirit and we had a huge laugh when they showed me what I was doing wrong. While we were there we had some of the best daiquiris ever they were strawberry with banana rum. I hope that we get together and do that again soon.

On Sunday Tatum had a cheer competition down in Long Beach. The team won second place. It was awesome. The girls now move on and they have another competition in Long Beach again in 4 weeks. Of course we are all waiting for our favorite competition which is in Vegas in February. It so much fun with that many people in one place with their families haveing a great time. We over run the tables and get really obnoxious its great. Here are some pictures from the event:

So to say the least it was a busy weekend and we can't wait for the next one. Great Job Tatum on winning second we are very proud of you.

Kids test our patients but it makes us stronger

Today was the twins conferences. First we saw Tatum's teacher. Wow is all I have to say. She is doing so good. You know it is going to go well when the teacher starts off saying I love your daughter. I guess she is really helpful and really helps other kids that may need it. She is performing well in all classees but Social Studies. The good news is that the teacher is willing have her come in at lunch to work on getting caught up. I know Tatum will take that help and do what she can to do better.
Triston on the other hand we have some issues that need to be dealt with. He is hanging in there on grades and I know that he will have A's and B's but behaviorly he is struggling. He just can't keep his hands to himself. I don't think that he is intentionally hurting anyone rather just being rougher than most kids. He gets along great with his friends so I just don't understand where the roughness is coming from. I was really upset at his conference though when the only thing that the teacher was talking about was his behavior. I had to bring up his grades and how his work performance in class was. It was like she didn't even want to talk about that. What frustrated me was that Don and I know that Triston has something going on we are doing positive reinforcements with him and punishing him if he has had a bad day. I get daily updates by his teacher regarding his day and Don and I still don't know how to fix the issue but we are working on it, we know about it, we are doing all that we can. STOP BEATING US UP ALREADY. We already feel bad enough first that he might hurt somebody and secondly that we don't know how to help him. We didn't expect to sit there for 30min and be lectured about counseling and medication and why haven't we found out what was wrong. I for one don't believe in medication unless absolutley nessesary. My sister had ADD/ ADHD and was on medication all of her life. It never helped her and now she is in jail and addicted to drugs. The doctors could never get the dosage right so she was either a zombie or she felt that she couldn't control herself. So now you know why it would scare me.
This morning before the conferences I was looking back at some old pictures of when the twins were little. They were so cute and we did some awesome things when they were little. We had big birthdays every year, we went camping a lot and it just seems that now we have to many things going on. I told Don tonight that I want to go back to taking those little weekend trips and just get a chance to reconnect. I wonder where I should start first. I think I will plan a trip to Joshua Tree because Tatum and I had such a great time and we know that the boys would have a blast. Maybe we shoud plan another cruise. Jodi you in?

Over all not so bad

Today Don, Trevor, and I went to talk to his teachers and school counselor. It was a great meeting. I found out that he is at least trying since we started talking to him about his grades. He has risen his World History grade a significant amount and his teacher thinks that if he keeps it up he may have an A by the time Semester grades come out.

His spanish teacher told us that he needs to focus and not talk to the girl behind him though she thinks that she is helping him stay on task (I wonder if that is the girl he asked to Homecoming). He was missing a workbook for her class so we bought another one and hopefully he can now get caught up.

He is getting an A+ in Lit I hope that he can keep that going since he went to summer school this past summer becuase of this class but once again it was because of the homework.

His math teacher didn't show but we knew that she wouldn't. Trevor told us that it is not to hard of a class but that he is just not doing the work and that he would do better.

The hardest class of all Honors Bio. Not sure what I should do. Do I take him out of the class or do I leave him in it and make him try harder. I feel like I should keep him in it and let him try harder but then I take the risk of him failing the class. As of right now I told his teacher that I would like daily reports from her and I hope that I we can get him to succed.

Tomorrow is the twins conferences so I will let you know how it goes.

Camping Weekend

This weekend I had to work though it didn't feel like work except that I wasn't at home. The district that I run had a Webelos Camporall, in laymens terms a campout and skills competition for 4th and 5th graders, it was a lot of fun. The chairmen in charge did a gret job. We had 166 people out there and the weather was beautiful. We did have a couple of challenges. First, we were at the reserve base and the guys who delivered our water buffalos ran over some sewage pipe so it smelled really bad. We tried to shovel sand on it to cover the smell and to soak up the water but it didn't work to well. We closed it off with Caution tape and worked with the smell. Second, the area was covered with gopher holes. They weren't in just one area but all over the place. I was being so carefull and the kids were running every where. I knew that if anyone was going to fall it was going to be me but I did good and to my knowledge no one got hurt. I would call this event 100% a success. For our next district event it is snow camping at the end of January. I can't wait...NOT.

The kids had games again this past week Trevor lost both football games actually I should say slatered. I feel bad for these guys our team has so many kids out because of injury there is nothing that we can do. Tatum cheer squad is amping up for a competion this upcoming Sunday at the Long Beach convention center and the team that she cheers for won again so they are in playoffs maybe going to the best game in pop warner football the "Orange Bowl". The girls are doing a really good job and I think that the players actually appreciate that they are there. Triston won his soccer game on Saturday 5-0 he got to play the whole second half which doen't happen very much anymore as is the subber for now. In his Baseball game he got to pitch the first two innings. He did ok the first inning but allowed 2 runs in the second he did much better. He didn't hit any good balls in the game but in practice he was bombing them to the outfield. I mean line drives. He hasn't practiced all year either so I told him not to be upset that once he gets a couple practices in him all the fundamentals will come back. His team went on to win 10-4. Don had a busy weekend with lots of parties for the stores and with me gone he did a lot of juggling. Trevor worked for him on Sunday and hosted a party and did a great job as Party Host and he got a $20 tip. I'm really proud of him he really know how do his job at the store and do it well. I know I complain a lot about his behavior but he is really a good kid that tries to be good. I love you Trevor.
This week is conference week for the twins and I have set a meeting with Trevor's teachers to see how he is doing so I will have many posts this week.

What a weekend

Well the Havard family has done it again. Another great weekend under their belt. Where do I begin?

Trevor - Our varsity team on Friday night had a horrible night we lost 41-0. Trev didn't play but no problem because this week the JV game was on Saturday morning. Trevor played the entire game and the defense dominated. We won 3-0 Trevor got his second interception of his Sophmore year. The game was a nail bitter Valencia had a chance to tie it up with 12 seconds left on the clock with a field goal but the kicker kicked the ball and it hit the goal posts. Next week we head into league games with the first one being against Tustin. I love high school sports they are so much fun to watch.

Tatum -Triston and Tatum had their first 6th grade dance on Friday night. She had such a great time hanging out with her friends. I guess she even danced with a boy (good thing older bro by 45min was there). After the dance her friend Alyssa spent the night and that kept her busy. On Saturday she had her game to cheer for. It was freezing cold. It dipped down to 60 and it was windy(don't judge me Jodie and Ken). After the game she went to watch Alyssa cheer and spent the night at her house. So to say the least she didn't get much sleep and it was really busy.

Triston - He started off the weekend with a Soccer game Saturday morning and they lost 1-2. The other team was really rough and I think played a little dirty but I guess every now and then we will run into teams like that. They boys played great and hard. Triston also went to the dance on Friday night but he said that it was boring. There is definatley a difference between boys and girls and it is somewhat hilarious to watch it happen at the same time in the same house. After the dance Don saw one of Triston's old basketball coaches who is currently coaching a winter baseball team who told Don that they had lost some players and would Triston like to play. So because we can't say no we are now playing winter baseball on Sunday afternoons. I guess as long as the kids are having fun and staying out of trouble it's ok to run my husband and I ragged. It will make it that much easier when they leave for college because Don and I will actually be able to spend some time together on our own.

As for Don and I we enjoyed going to all the above sporting activities. The kids did wonderful and we can't wait for next weekend. After Tatum's game on Saturday night we went out with some friends to a place in Costa Mesa. I had such a great time. We got there expecting to be able to eat dinner and we ordered a hamburger that we had to cook on our own on a BBQ that they had on the patio. We had several drinks and danced the night away. Well the girls danced and the guys watched sports on the TV. I had this drink that was 40oz and came in a keep sake glass it was very yummy it was called a Blue Hawaii. I think that I will have to have another one of those when I go to Las Vegas. After dancing a couple of us went to Denny's to have a 1:00am snack we had a great time talking and just hanging out without kids. It was real adult time that was very much needed. I would like to go back there sometime though I really like my Country western bar better. Dancing is really great exercise and I should do it more often. I wish that the kids could go with me though I think that would be a great place a club that only serves soda and water and is a family atmospere for family dancing fun even if it is only that way on sunday nights and the rest of the week a regular club. I think that I have another business to start writing a proposal for.
I want to thank Jodi, Ken, Amber, Justin, Kaylee, Kaylee's huband, Janet, Mark, Tatum, Triston, Trevor and Don for making it a weekend to remember. Next time I will have to bring the camera.

The Blocks in the Road -Be Warned I feel a little depressed today

That staement "when it rains it pours" it is so true. I find myself in a time where I have no time to do anything. I have neglected my kids, my house is a mess, Trevor is having trouble in school, Triston is also having some trouble at school but in a different way. Don and I seem to be working so much that we don't see eachother. Tatum is handling things very well though I see her following in my footsteps and using food as her escape from the issues that are before her. I'm so blessed to be able to have the funds to put her in sports and keep her active.

Trevor has never been a good student but rather an excellent athelete. He is in danger of failing a class and I know that part of it is becuase I'm not home at night to be able to push him to get his homework done. As a parent I know that I can only do so much and that he has to take what I have taught him the rest of the way but yet I feel this heavy burden that I havn't taught him enough. I know that he wants to go to college and possibly play football and I know that he wants to drive but Don and I have put a GPA requirment for him to even get his learners permit. For insurance purposes he has to have at least a 3.0 and we have asked him to strive for a 3.5.

Triston is having problems with bullying other kids. Fortunately we have this teacher that is trying to work with him instead of just suspending him from school. I don't know where he has learned this or why he does it. We have a loving family enviroment and we are always there for him whenever he has any issues but he doesn't talk much to us. I had him go and talk to a counselor but we are not sure if we want him to continue that . It breaks my heart that he feels that he needs to get attention when it seems that he is the one that is constently getting it from us at home.

Tatum is the watcher of the group. She watches all the stuff that is going on and just trys to stay out of it. I find that she escapes into her room to listen to music or reads. She enjoys her sports and does what she can to do well. I feel that she often gets left behind because we have to deal with all the things the boys are doing wrong.

As for Don and I as discussed above I have been working a lot. It has been very stressful and it is obviously affecting my attitude. Don has been so good and is adjusting his schedule to help out more with the kids. He pickes them up 2 days a week and is home in time to take them to activities on another day. I get home in time to get them to activities 2 days a week and all the others get home between 9 and 10:00opm. My house is a mess and the refridgerator is bare so we eat out a lot. I get home late at night and am so tired in the morning that Don gets up with the kids almost everyday and gets them off to school. I feel like the worst mother on the face of the earth. My job doesn't even pay me enough to be this tired and this distant from my family. But now my income is needed It has allowed us to do many things to the house (as is shown) and there is so much more that needs to be done. As you can see in the pictures we planted grass but I need to get my plants and flowers, a new garage door, and new entry door. Also the other side of the front of the house needs to be done with siding. So it isn't like I can quit and in these uncertain times who knows if our stores will continue to make a profit. I know that soon the family is going to have to work on Sunday afternoons to cut down on payroll.

I know that I'm not the only one that is going through issues like this but I feel so alone. I really have no one to talk to and I feel very similar to my friend Jodi who has lost her mom recently. Love you Jodi. Maybe I'm the one who needs to talk to a counselor.

Don and I are going away in December with no kids and are going to go with some friends to Las Vegas. Maybe that will be the pick me up needed to get back on track. I know that I need to learn balance and maybe writing this blog entry will help me start to do that.

No one said that Parenting or being married was easy and I'm willing to take on the challenges.

"God please help me with my patience and guide me in the direction that you need me to go you are my savior and my provider thank you for never giving up on me and teaching me that life is never perfect everyone goes through their own trials and challenges. Lord please help Jodi get through this tough time and help guide her to understand that her mom is not gone but with you watching over her and her family. Please look after my family and help me draw them closer to you I know that if they new you they would feel safe always even in the absence of me. AMEN"