What is wrong with me

Lately I have been feeling very depressed. There are many things that I could attribute this to but I feel like I should have been able to move on but I can't and it is affecting all areas of my life.

 

1) my father in law passed away 3 weeks ago. Don and I have been having a hard time dealing with this loss. We feel the need to get work done as fast as we can so that we can come home and be with our kids. That isn't a bad thing except that we aren't getting the work done and just coming home. I know for me I'm way behind and I have been forgetting lots of things that I was supposed to do and with my job everyone is walking on egg shells just trying not to get fired

2) I'm constantly worrying about Trevor and his grades for school. He is maintaining a 2.0 but is capable of so much more. I want him to want to do well and give a hundred % in his sports but that is not him. He is lazy. I have tried many things to get him motivated but nothing is working. Even driving is not a big enough motivator I have come to terms that I will be lucky if he even decides to attend college but I wanted so much more for him. I wanted more for him then what I did.

3) I can't decide if I want to continue working. I think that this thought is directly related to number 1 but I can't move past it. I work because I need the interaction and recognition and I don't think that I get enough of it at home. The work atmosphere used to to do that but not now. All the kudos and slap on the backs for a great job are to few and in between. I like the extra money so that we can do all the things that we want and I don't want to lose that but I don't know how much longer I can take this. Now is not the time to look for another job but maybe I should.

4) Don and I are going through some personal issues though I'm not sure that he knows about it at least he pretends that he doesn't. To say the least I like to be spontaneous and I liked the love letters and the closeness that we used to have but where has it all one.  I'm trying to work on that but hope that he will get on board 

I believe that all 4 of these items can be taken care of with me and my attitude. My self esteem needs an attitude adjustment but I'm lost on where to start. I have a long road and it isn't going to be easy. I will get there and hope that it doesn't take as long as I think. 

Thanks for listening