Looking up

Things are looking much brighter lately. I have had some great time with family and that always seems to help when I'm feeling down. June 25th is Don's birthday and we are trying to plan a trip to Las Vegas with just the two of us that should be fun. I think we are going to stay downtown as we got a free night stay or something like that. I guess because I gamble so much what can I say I love it so much it makes me happy.  With the family he still hasn't decided what he wants to do. Some ideas were the beach, Medieval times, or just going to dinner but he can't make up his mind. 

We leave for Jamaica in 61 days or 9 weeks the whole family is so excited. It is now time to start buying clothes and all the items that we need to take (like my video camera). To say the least we are counting down the days. 

The kids are still involved in all their activities though softball ended and baseball is about to end. Trevor and Don are going white water rafting this weekend with Trevor's wrestling team and Triston, Tatum and I are going June 5,6,7 with Tatum's Girl Scout Troop. Tatum has basketball starting up here pretty soon as well. I love basketball season. 

Well that is our family update for now. 

Thanks for listening

What is wrong with me

Lately I have been feeling very depressed. There are many things that I could attribute this to but I feel like I should have been able to move on but I can't and it is affecting all areas of my life.

 

1) my father in law passed away 3 weeks ago. Don and I have been having a hard time dealing with this loss. We feel the need to get work done as fast as we can so that we can come home and be with our kids. That isn't a bad thing except that we aren't getting the work done and just coming home. I know for me I'm way behind and I have been forgetting lots of things that I was supposed to do and with my job everyone is walking on egg shells just trying not to get fired

2) I'm constantly worrying about Trevor and his grades for school. He is maintaining a 2.0 but is capable of so much more. I want him to want to do well and give a hundred % in his sports but that is not him. He is lazy. I have tried many things to get him motivated but nothing is working. Even driving is not a big enough motivator I have come to terms that I will be lucky if he even decides to attend college but I wanted so much more for him. I wanted more for him then what I did.

3) I can't decide if I want to continue working. I think that this thought is directly related to number 1 but I can't move past it. I work because I need the interaction and recognition and I don't think that I get enough of it at home. The work atmosphere used to to do that but not now. All the kudos and slap on the backs for a great job are to few and in between. I like the extra money so that we can do all the things that we want and I don't want to lose that but I don't know how much longer I can take this. Now is not the time to look for another job but maybe I should.

4) Don and I are going through some personal issues though I'm not sure that he knows about it at least he pretends that he doesn't. To say the least I like to be spontaneous and I liked the love letters and the closeness that we used to have but where has it all one.  I'm trying to work on that but hope that he will get on board 

I believe that all 4 of these items can be taken care of with me and my attitude. My self esteem needs an attitude adjustment but I'm lost on where to start. I have a long road and it isn't going to be easy. I will get there and hope that it doesn't take as long as I think. 

Thanks for listening

Arizona trip

I just got back from Arizona for a weekend get away. I left on Friday at 1:50pm and I made the 7 hour drive all by myself. There were several people supposed to come but they all backed out the week of the trip which totally pissed me off but oh well I did have a friend that drove his own car (he was staying an extra day) and followed me. On Saturday we went sight seeing at the local national park it was wonderful. The weather was around 88 degrees the entire weekend. Saturday night we had a Karaoke night at one of the local bars. We had such a great time. The locals didn't like us very much we were a little crazy for them. They were an older crowd. 

On another note everyone is doing well. Donnie and I celebrated our 16 wedding anniversary on May 2nd and we are looking forward to Mother's Day. We are going to have everyone over for a swim day and a Hot Dog and Burger dinner. 

Texas, Surprise, and life

So last week I had to go to Texas for 5 days for a training. It was great. I learned so much that I  can use right away and make a huge difference. It was still a long week being away from my family. We had 30 people in the class and I think we represented 11 different states. The furthest being Rhode Island and Alaska. My favorite accent was the guy from Alabama. 

When I got home Don and the kids surprised me with a pot rack hanging in my kitchen. I have been wanting one for years and now here it is . It adds so much character to my kitchen that now we really need to paint it. 

The kids are doing great with life right now. I can't believe that it is already time to go to the Jr High and hear the informational meeting for parents next week. I think that the twins are very excited. 

Trevor is still do weightlifting for football in the mornings from 6am-7am and on Monday and Wednesday he has wrestling practice from 6-7:30pm . 

Tatum is doing amazing in Softball. One of the coaches took some time and practiced hitting with her and while I was gone she hit a stand up triple and has had a couple doubles and singles since then. She gets to catch also and I think that she is really having a great time.

Triston is also doing great in baseball. He is consistently hitting the ball and scoring . The coach has him at the bottom of the line up that causes him to miss hitting opportunities as the kids in front of him rarely get on base. All the kids on his team have the potential of hitting which makes for some exciting games. 

Don and I are working hard short days to make sure that we are home in time for games or practices but all in all we wouldn't have it any other way.

rain rain go away

Ok, so today is turning out to be one of those days where you say to yourself why in the world did I ever get up. I had a meeting in HB which is a 30min from my house at 6:30am so I decided to get up and take Trevor to Football at school which starts at 6:00am. No problem right, WRONG we are driving to school and I go to roll down the window and all of a sudden we here "CRACK" and the window falls into the slot. We are like "WTF" looking at each other wondering what happened . Well we couldn't get the window to roll up and my temperature gage says 48 degrees. So with the heater on as high as it would go I drive down to HB. I walk out of my meeting to find that the sidewalk is wet, "GREAT IT'S RAINING"! I go to get into my car to drive back home driverside seat soaked and cold. I get home and wait for the pool guy to come and schedule a glass company to come and fix my window. It is wicked expensive for them to fix a stupid window. I schedule them to come to my work and they say they will be there between 12:00 and 5:00 no problem. I get ready for work and in the meantime it starts to rain harder. I go to get in my car with towels to dry the door and I start to drive away. Now in tears and wet on my left side I call Don expressing how upset I was expecting him to fix my problem and he says to seal it up. CLEVER! Why didn't I think of that so I turn around and go back home grab two trash bags and the tape. I close myself in the truck and start to put the bags up. STUPID BAGS WON'T STAY! I try and tape them but because it's wet the tape won't stick. Then I tried to back out of the driveway but when trying to look to make sure I was clear I COULDN'T SEE OUT OF MY WINDOW. Forget it I will take this as a sign that I need to go back to bed.

GOOD NIGHT!

Bring on Summer

Well it's official we are going to Jamaica for our summer vacation. We booked our hotel, booked our plane reservations and are going to get our passports on Monday. I'm so excited. We are actually going to Boscobel which is on the other side of Negril about 30min away from Montego Bay. We are staying at an all inclusive which means we get to eat and drink as much as we want. The kids are a little worried about the 10 hour flight from Lax to North Carolina (3hour lay over) and the rest to Jamaica but the good news is that we don't leave CA till 10:00pm so we should sleep the majority of the way. 

Work is going better for me these days. I have been successful in my fundraising which is making my bosses happy. There are many things that I don't like about office politics but I have to play the game if I want to survive any layoffs we might do in the future. I love my job don't get me wrong but we have a lot to do. 

Trevor is back in football and is weightlifting like crazy. He is so strong and I think ready to play Varsity this year instead of just suiting up. 

Tatum has already had her first Softball game and is catching (yes Jillian she caught her first game of the season and from what I hear she did a great job). Basketball is coming to an end though she will have some private lessons once a week to help her keep up on the game. 

Triston  hasn't started games yet for baseball but is doing a lot of practice to pitch for the team. Games start the 2nd week of March. He is also playing spring soccer and games start soon for that as well. 

Don is working very hard. He is the one that keeps this family together. He picks the kids up and gets them to practice and fixes dinner. He picks up all the slack that my job makes me miss. He is amazing and I love him

Thats all for now stay tuned for more

It has been so long

It has been a long time since I have had time to type on this blog. It seems that the Havard family is getting busier and busier. The kids are ending their winter sports and practices are starting for the spring sports. So that means an overlap with Tatum's basketball with softball and Triston is doing spring soccer and baseball. Trevor's wrestling season just ended and is now going to continue with freestyle wrestling. The wrestling program has a better weightlifting schedule then football and helps the kids get in better shape and I think that this will help him in football. 

Don is enjoying the rain as it bring more people to the store and we hope that it continues. Me on the other hand am constantly busy and have been working several hours. My favorite boss of all time, Ken, got promoted and is moving his family to Arizona. I will miss them tremendously. We have been having lots of fun giving him and his wife Jodi (my best friend) lots of going away parties. This past Friday night we went to our favorite bar and it was a blast. 

For Valentines day Don surprised Tatum and I with pink and white roses along with chocolate covered strawberries.  The kids and I surprised Don with a candlelight homemade dinner of Lasagna  with Chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting decorated with sprinkle and red hots. I would say that we had a great day.

For now along with the sports and busy work days we are in the process of planning our summer vacation. We know that we are going to Laughlin with Ken and Jodi  in either June or July and we are looking to go to either Florida to Orlando or to Jamaica. We are looking at prices and going to the Travel agent this week hopefully Tuesday.  

More to come...